Thin Air, High Hope

I don’t always know what to say when I pray. I remember, as a young Christian, sitting in what felt like a “praying position” and trying to fill up five minutes. Then I went through a season when I started walking and praying. That helped. It felt more like a conversation with a friend, and it is still my favorite way to pray. Some days, though, praying is just hard. I don’t know what to say, or I feel super distracted. My thoughts feel like badly tangled yarn, or like traffic (my thoughts) trying to merge into one lane (my mouth!).

I find this to be especially true when my anxiety is high, or when there feels like there is a lot happening around me. Lately, it has felt like there is ALOT happening around me.

A number of years ago, I heard a sermon on the Lord’s Prayer. The speaker talked about how it can be a model for prayer, that we don’t necessarily need to recite it. We can actually use it as a guide for our own thoughts when we are trying to pray. During times like this, when I feel especially tangled, this approach helps me direct my thoughts.

I wanted to share what my prayers often sound like lately, relying on the Lord’s prayer for structure. This is purely as an example, definitely not as a prescription. I’m sharing this in the chance that there are other jammed-up brains out there who might find this helpful in the same way I have.

Of course, because I’m writing this out as an example, it may lack some of the angst and expression my actual prayers carry. I’ve also chosen not to include how I might pray specifically for my husband, kids, or other personal relationships. I speak very openly about each of those when I pray, and it didn’t feel fair to share those parts publicly.

Below is the actual prayer from Matthew. My prayer follows, using these verses as a guide. And I would also love to hear your response to the question that follows if you have a moment to share!

Matthew 6:9-13
“Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.
May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us today the food we need,
and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.”

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Our Father
Dear God,
You are my Father. But You are not just my Father, you are also the Father of everyone around me. God, You know how much I wrestle with people sometimes, how overwhelming they can feel, how much I crave solitude. But Father, help me remember that You are their Father too. In all of my interactions, with everyone I see, remind me that You value them as Your child.

In heaven,
You are in heaven and I am on earth. I am so grateful to know there is something beyond just what I can see, that there is a world beyond this one. I am grateful that You are so much wiser than I am, that Your thoughts are so much “higher.” There is so much that I don’t understand right now, especially the things happening in this world. But I trust that You know. You see it all.

May your name be kept holy.
Father, I pray that Your name would be kept holy, that it would be honored. Please don’t let me represent You wrongly. Help me communicate and demonstrate who You are accurately. You are kind, loving, compassionate, and infinitely patient. You do not ignore injustice, and You care deeply for this world.

Please forgive me for the ways I don’t reflect You well. I pray also for Christians as a whole. Please forgive us for the ways we have sometimes distorted You, made You seem like merely a law-giver, impatient and without mercy, or like One who turns away from those who are hurting. God, show Yourself as who You truly are.

May your Kingdom come soon.
Oh Father, I am not even sure what this fully means! I know I have often been taught that Your Kingdom is heaven, something to receive only after we die. But what about Your Kingdom here on earth? Please help me participate in bringing it here now. Help me be someone who brings peace, love, generosity, and kindness into every space I enter.

Help me bring Your Kingdom into my neighborhood, my circles, by seeing those who are hurting or lonely and by being a safe presence for them. There is so much pain, loss and grief. Please don’t let me forget them in the light of my own concerns.

Let those of us who say we love You not reduce the Kingdom to membership in a congregation, but reflect it by filling our communities with Your light and love.

May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Help me become more aware of Your will. Let us do Your will here on earth as it would look if we were already in heaven. Help me prioritize what You would have me prioritize, and help me stay open to where and how You might lead me.

I pray for my family, my children, my friends, my classmates, and my neighbors. Help me see where I might serve, love, and participate in Your will in these areas. I also pray for humility and strength when I resist Your will. Please don’t let me stray, but soften my heart.

Give us today the food we need,
I pray for today, whatever today holds. My schedule, my interactions, my family’s schedule. Please give us what we need in each of these moments. God, give me the energy I need to show up well.

There are many things I feel anxious about: interactions I may have, to-do lists I need to accomplish, problems I need to solve. Help me trust that You will give what is needed in the moment, and that the rest can wait.

And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
Father, I want to pause and examine my heart. Am I angry or holding resentment toward anyone? Is there a relationship I need to address? Is there someone I may have hurt who I need to create space for reconciliation with?

Give me strength to forgive, to understand, and to listen. Thank You for forgiving me so readily, for not holding my failures against me, for being my safe place. Even when not all of my relationships are at peace, I thank You that with You, peace and forgiveness are always offered.

And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
Finally, God, help me stay aware. There are so many voices right now calling for hatred and judgment, and it is also easy to grow discouraged or numb. Help me place my hope in You and in the ways You are at work, even when I can’t fully see it.

Help me live wisely, with a heart humble enough to be honest about my own vices and slow to point at others. Reveal where I may be greedy, prideful, or selfish, and help me see a way forward, a way toward change.

Father, thank You for this time. I am deeply grateful for Your love, Your wisdom, Your patience, and the way You listen to my heart. Amen.

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A Question For You

What helps you if or when prayer feels hard? Is it being in a certain place, having some structure, or using a guide? Feel free to share…your idea might help someone else.