Thin Air, High Hope

One morning, I found myself grappling with feelings of sadness and a whirlwind of difficult thoughts. During this struggle, I opened my BIble and stumbled upon Psalm 77. As I read through it, even though I was half distracted by my own thoughts, something struck me. As I witnessed the Psalmist’s journey through his own struggles, the text reached out to me like a whisper from God.

I read through the Psalm again, this time with more attention. I was deeply moved by the way it led from despair to hope. I wanted to write a sort of modern story that I imagined might follow the same thought progression as the original author.

My hope is that this attempt might also encourage others when navigating challenges and emotions common to us all. I pray it might remind us of the enduring connection between our inner struggles and the loving, though sometimes invisible, presence of our loving and faithful Father.

In the stillness of the night, as the clock’s numbers cast an eerie glow, a restless soul stirs. Sleep eludes her, replaced by an overwhelming sense of unease, a deep, haunting emptiness, a sorrow that clouds the mind and numbs the senses.

1:02 am
1:47 am
2:23 am
3:14 am

Tossing and turning, she finally surrenders to wakefulness. The house is a cocoon of silence, cradling her children in peaceful slumber. They remain blissfully unaware of her struggle, a battle waged in the shadows of her heart.

She heads down the stairs, alone with her thoughts, thoughts that inevitably turn to God, her trusted companion. Yet, this time, there is no safety there. Her thoughts betray her, echoing with the harsh accusations of her own unworthiness. She knows the promises of forgiveness, and she prays for solace, but the comfort she seeks eludes her. The ache within her deepens, for she feels powerless to bridge the chasm between her darkness and His radiant light.

As minutes stretch into the early hours, she begins to reflect and struggles to remember.

There was a time when happiness felt near when God’s presence filled her with joy. But now, she wrestles with despair. What has changed? Has God forsaken her at last? The weight of her sins, her stubbornness, her apathy, and her restlessness bears down upon her. Has she exhausted His patience, destined to this desolation?

In she sits alone, her mind journeys further back, seeking hope, back to old testament tales of God’s might and holiness, stories of His glory revealed to His people. But in this present darkness, as these relentless waves threaten to consume her, her heart cries out: “Where is God in this emptiness? Where is He now?”

In the silence and murkiness of emotion, a memory pushes through: a simple children’s tale, a whisper from the past. Her breath catches as her heart remembers. “Your way was through the sea, your path through the great waters, though your footprints were unseen.”

Invisible, yet faithful, God had guided His people. Through mighty waves and deep waters, His footprints remained unseen, but His presence undeniable. In that hidden path lay deliverance, even though, at first, the Israelites couldn’t see a way through.

She exhales, breathing again as she is reminded of who God is. God, unseen yet faithful. God, tender and steadfast. Even when all can be seen is the darkness of the sea and the depth of the waves, He is creating a way through.

For the moment, the darkness retreats as the sun creeps over the horizon. Once more, morning has faithfully come with its promise of light.