Thin Air, High Hope

I’ve been back in the States for precisely a month today. Amidst the whirlwind of such a significant move, there hasn’t been much time for reflection. However, this morning, it seems that some of the dust has settled, and I finally have the opportunity to write a little.

A friend who has often lived abroad advised me to summarize lessons learned into three key points that I could offer if someone were to ask me, “What did you learn while living in Bolivia?”. While it’s challenging to encapsulate all the thoughts and experiences from our time there, I’ve heeded my wise friend’s advice. Here are three key insights I especially want to remember:

1. I cannot grow in my understanding of Jesus without immersing myself in the same kind of work He did.

Jesus was in the trenches, touching the lives of lepers, outcasts, and those in pain. He wept with those who wept and stood with the sick, the poor, and the broken. He was fully committed. While I can read the scriptures and imagine what it might have been like to walk alongside Him or emulate Him within my own social circle, I have never felt a greater urgency to understand what Jesus would do than when I was surrounded by heart-wrenching situations and confronted with my own utter helplessness. Witnessing how His methods of love and healing brought light and hope to the darkest moments was profoundly humbling.

2. God can transform our feeble efforts into something more.
Throughout my time in La Paz, I grappled with feelings of inadequacy. My limited Spanish proficiency made me feel inadequate in building friendships, frequent illnesses left me feeling unable to serve as much as I desired, and the overwhelming newness of it all made me doubt my strength of faith. I juggled a full-time job with sporadic hours, which sometimes left me feeling less-than the mother and wife I aspired to be. Even in my relationship with God, I often felt less-than as I struggled to articulate my feelings and navigate through prayers.

The remarkable part of this journey is that God was continually at work! Despite my language barriers, I forged deep and meaningful relationships that will endure a lifetime. I still carry a deep affection for those with whom I had limited conversations but who always greeted me with a smile. Despite my struggles, God worked powerfully in our friendships and family dynamics, nurturing growth and understanding. As I read the heartfelt cards from our friends in La Paz, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Meanwhile, the work of HOPEww-Bolivia continues to flourish and evolve, bringing me profound peace and joy. Even in my moments of self-doubt, God was unfailingly working in the ways that mattered most.

3. Discomfort and pain reveal inner strength.
This particular insight is the most challenging for me to express, as I am still in the process of understanding it myself. I realized that in the past when faced with discomfort or pain, my initial instinct was to escape or alleviate it. However, in Bolivia, there were instances when I found myself in incredibly uncomfortable situations. To leave these situations would have meant turning away from someone in genuine need. In those moments, the only right choice was to stay. Embracing the discomfort taught me that I can expect more from myself. I don’t need to shy away from pain or discomfort because, if they are integral to following the right path, I will endure them with God’s strength.

While I acknowledge that these are lessons that can be learned anywhere, I am profoundly grateful for the people and experiences in La Paz that directly relate to each of these insights. My hope is to carry these lessons close to my heart, cherishing them always.

There are countless stories from our time in La Paz, and words cannot adequately express our gratitude for each of the individuals who opened their hearts to our family.